Dirty Dessert

In reference to a pastry that we bought from Greekfest but totally out of context:

"Man, every time I walk by that Kok I want to take a bite. I can't deny it."

En route

"My food gets more likes on Instagram than my face!" Poor roomie.

At the Tap Room

"Big tits, big tips: the study of cleavage and the human psyche."

"A best friend gives you the fork off their plate... After they've used it. "

Spinach Dip

My friends and I were at a big birthday bash for my neighbor last night and there was a live band.  At the end of the night the lead singer was systematically praising all of the awesome party food. The last and most decorated ode was to the spinach dip my mom made.  To quote the band:

"And that green stuff! What was it?  Spinach dip? Damn!  That stuff was good! I wanted to dive into it and then write a poem about it! "

Barren

Quoth one of my dear online friends:
"Behold! The field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and thou shalt see that it is barren."

The Whole Package

My boyfriend recently acquired very hipster-like glasses and a pompadour haircut. We went winery-hopping for my birthday yesterday and he wore pink shorts and a black v-neck t-shirt. In a picture of us that one of our friends took, he bent his legs and stuck out an arm to pose.

Friend: "Hunter, you look very homosexual."

Boyfriend: "Yeah, it's the shorts. And the hair. And the glasses. And the V-neck. And the loafers."

All of it. Besides looking the part, it was him and three of us girls. What a man <3

Boyfriend Birthday Obsession

"You know what I've become obsessed with recently?  Like literally in the last 12 hours. BOOKENDS. They are so cool." Says my boyfriend as he makes a whole Bisquick box worth of waffles for his coworkers. He allegedly saw them while looking for a birthday present for me, but may have forgotten that today is actually my birthday. "It's time for some chocolate chips!"